billyjackson

The product of the union of Odin, the Norse god, and a tribe of pygmys, I have a complexion sought after by the most prestigious of supermodels, a vocal range coveted by a wide range of opera singers, and the literary abilities of a room full of monkeys on typewriters for an indefinate amount of time. I conquered 3 small oceanic isles and revolutionized the culinary art with my inspirational use of grits. With Bono at my side, i waged war on terror and won. I defeated bigfoot in a thumbwrestling match, and promply took him to a taxidermist. I'm completely parylyzed on my left side, and can speak in 12 languages, swear in 342. I have undergone counterinterrogation training so as to never reveal my secrets in the art of souffle, and have mastered the foxtrot. I have used toasters to defeat warlords, single peanutbutter cups to feed whole third world countries, and cacti to please women. My number one fan is, and always will be my mother, and i highly dislike Disney Actresses turned starlettes, and their sisters. When i go to jail, i do pass go, and i do collect 200 dollars. I've succesfully completed coldfusion, white house intrustion, and dance dance revolution. I can change my vocie to match any Hey Arnold! character, and am a blackbelt in kama sutra. I have stopped plauges, caused fashion trends, and reenact the Bratz movie twice daily. I can identify any species of bacteria with a series of pneumonic devices, and can remain completely calm under duress. I invented rabbits, discovered the automobile, and pioneered the Pokemon trend. I have finished the "song that never ends" When asked my favorite former nickolodeon television show, i can truly and honestly admit that it's slimetime live. I speak in rhyme, fight crime, and have special governmental permission to disrespect the geneva convention in situations of class 5 danger ratings in national security, when i deem it neccesary at the time. I ALWAYS have probable cause. I have been shot no less than 9 times but no more than seventy three, and yet find no need to fraternize with common currency: My friends are no less than a buck twenty five a piece, and properly pluralize their medium of exchange. I am an expert in cryptology, especially in breaking specific elliptic curve cyphers of greater than 512 bits of encryption. I breed Ligers, and sustain myself merely on raw mint and legos. I have staged Coups, bank robberies, and Tony winning broadway musicals. I am right behind you.